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Storming ideas for some fresh names for future hurricanes

PUBLISHED: 17:32 06 November 2012

I've always been dismayed at the lack of thought put into naming hurricanes. Bob, Andrew, Emily, Dennis, Irene, Maria, Sandy - they sound like kindly uncles and aunts who bounce you on their knees and give you Werther's Originals and Fanta rather than 'Frankenstorms' which rip your roof off and leave you in a river of your own slurry.

Apparently, hurricanes were first named for the benefit of newsreaders who were finding it difficult to keep track of the different ones which hit various parts of America over the decades. Now a host of new names need to be chosen every year. But still – there’s no excuse for calling one Tammy or Wilma, no excuse at all.

I am in the process of finding out who I need to email to put forward my suggestions for hurricane names – not only are my choices memorable, they also impart a sense of doom and terror into the process of hurricane naming which I currently feel is sadly lacking. They are as follows (insert “Hurricane” before each name for the full and mighty effect):

1: The villains from He-Man collection – Beast Man, Clawful, Evil-Lyn, Kronis, Skeletor, Stinkor, Trap-jaw, Tung Lashor.

2: The evil dictator collection – Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Ceausescu, Mae Tse-tung, Thatcher, Blair, Mariah Carey.

3: The anaemic students who play Dungeons and Dragons and hangs around the entrance to the Forum collection – Megadoom, Destructor, Gollum, Necromancer.

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