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Sorry Robbie, money does make you happy

PUBLISHED: 00:04 18 September 2012 | UPDATED: 00:06 18 September 2012

It's been revealed that the key to happiness involves earning between £50,000 and £100,000 per year.

New research shows that money really can make you happy, which is in no way news to me: I would be considerably happier if I had more money. Or some money.

It always makes me furious when someone says that money can’t make you happy – particularly when it’s a celebrity.

I remember Robbie Williams, pre the rekindling of the Gary Barlow bromance and marriage, revealing the dreadful price of fame.

“Money’s nothing to do with happiness. Sometimes I feel like cashing everything in and giving it all away. Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I didn’t even have £100,” he said.

“I could walk the streets as a free man, meet a girl and live a quiet life.”

It’s a proven fact that all women find men who are destitute and penniless really sexy. They want nothing more than to be taken back to their paramour’s cardboard box and offered meths on the rocks (or on the ground if she’s really getting the five-star treatment) before helping him pack his trousers with newspaper to keep out the draft.

Who needs The Ivy when you’ve got the bins outside McDonalds?

If I had a pound for every celebrity who has carped about money not buying them happiness, I’d be as rich as they are and therefore able to prove conclusively that yes it bloody well does.

I can think of a huge list of things I’d do with loads of money, although they could all be condensed into a simple “I’d spend it”.

Anyway, you’ll be relieved to hear that Robbie nobly decided to carry on having his own private jet, living in the luxury homes he owns across the globe, having roast swan for tea and filling his swimming pools with Champagne, just so that he can stop someone else having to suffer the turmoil of being loaded.

He hopes that one day, women will realise that being sexy isn’t just about slumping in a doorway drinking White Lightning, it can also be about being ridiculously wealthy, attractive and famous, too.

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