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Norfolk puma attacks aliens... now I’ve got you interested

PUBLISHED: 00:00 02 October 2012 | UPDATED: 09:02 05 October 2012

As custodian of the Evening News’ Twitter feed, I can confidently report that online readers like nothing more than stories about possible alien sightings and the Norfolk puma.

If we could just find a story about the Norfolk puma attacking an alien craft or making contact with ET we’d have hit internet gold and I could die happy in the knowledge that I had delivered the perfect news story to the Twitter community.

Somewhat disappointingly, all the ‘strange lights’ seen in Norfolk skies seem to have a desperately mundane explanation: an electrical storm, a military night mission, those stupid sky lanterns, meteors, space rubble. The truth is out there, but sadly it’s unspeakably dull.

Then again, things could be worse – people the country over dismiss those of us in Norfolk as six-fingered halfwits but at least we can recognise the moon, unlike the police in Worcestershire.

A police constable there was on duty late last month when he spotted a “shining light” glowing over Clent Hills, a local beauty spot and, excitingly, “a hotspot for outdoor sex”.

The constable radioed his sergeant to tell him he was off to investigate the “suspicious bright light” and warned he might need back-up if he found a crime in progress.

Twenty minutes later, the officer spoke to his sergeant again to tell him that the light source was in fact the moon. I bet that was a call he really looked forward to making.

In case Worcestershire police are nervous about the Norfolk sightings of a giant fireball in the sky this week, I’d alert them to check before they go wandering uphill to look for evidence – if it’s daytime, the giant fireball in the sky is probably the sun. Just trying to help.

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