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I'll be back in a fortnight... I'm off to try to stop World War Three

PUBLISHED: 10:46 01 August 2012

Summer holidays, eh? What unbridled joy it is to have the children at home so that we can create the precious summer memories that will last us all a lifetime.

Thus far, the internet and telly went down for an entire day which practically caused World War Three, no one was interested when I suggested visiting a museum (I include myself, frankly), I have handed over more cash in a week than I earn in a month and the fridge is a barren wasteland that contains a few withered carrots and a bottle of suspect fruit juice I was sent by a PR company.

Unidentified ‘other children’ have been in my house, eating my food, using my broadband, shouting, annoying the dog and probably judging the cleanliness of my bathroom, and I am already counting the days until September and a new term.

I shall be absent without official leave from this page as I attempt to rally the troops for some edifying, educational days out and then give in and take them shopping instead. See you in a fortnight (after the Olympics – it’ll be a double celebration for us all).

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