So long to 2012 and thanks for all those great insults
It wouldn't be the end of the year unless I compiled for you my annual list of 'best insults from readers' – think of it like one of those Channel 4 compilation programmes but without the adverts or soundbites from Paul Ross.
1) 'You are so superficial and vapid that you can't think of anything important to write about. Your next move should be to kick a puppy for barking.'
2) 'You have flat hair.'
3) 'In addition, you insulted the flipping Frog Chorus, which demonstrates your bankrupt argument. You write from ignorance.'
4) 'Calling you a coward was kind. Calling you vapid was just plain accurate, as you've proved.'
You may also want to watch:
5) 'You are a lazy, ignorant, ridiculous, pathetic, cretinous excuse for a human being. In other words, everything Paul McCartney is not.'
Four of the above are from the same reader who, I was surprised to see, did not send me a Christmas card.
- 1 Monster rats 'the size of cats' invade city - and get in via the LOO
- 2 New café serves a hundred customers in two hours on opening day
- 3 WATCH: Bus and cyclist skip red light in city
- 4 Mayhem at some petrol pumps - but how are other city garages faring?
- 5 SOLD! Royal Arcade goes for £2m MORE than guide price
- 6 Spectacle of light with 'Norfolk's biggest ever firework display' announced
- 7 'Untouchable': People tell how Norwich killer left them in fear of their safety
- 8 This is where you can park for free in Norwich
- 9 Star-studded cast announced for Norwich Theatre Royal 2021 panto
- 10 Siblings slam council for 'backtracking' on council flat
The last insult is from a different reader, albeit about the same column in which I said that Paul McCartney was…no, let's not go there.
This goes on the internet. Paul McCartney's fans are quite rabid and there's only so many flat-haired insults a vapid, cowardly, ignorant, lazy, ridiculous, pathetic, cretinous excuse for a human being can take in one year.
On the flip side: four marriage proposals from readers this year, which is a new high.
Sorry, Mr McCartney, it's still a no.