So long to 2012 and thanks for all those great insults

It wouldn't be the end of the year unless I compiled for you my annual list of 'best insults from readers' – think of it like one of those Channel 4 compilation programmes but without the adverts or soundbites from Paul Ross.

1) 'You are so superficial and vapid that you can't think of anything important to write about. Your next move should be to kick a puppy for barking.'

2) 'You have flat hair.'

3) 'In addition, you insulted the flipping Frog Chorus, which demonstrates your bankrupt argument. You write from ignorance.'

4) 'Calling you a coward was kind. Calling you vapid was just plain accurate, as you've proved.'

5) 'You are a lazy, ignorant, ridiculous, pathetic, cretinous excuse for a human being. In other words, everything Paul McCartney is not.'

Four of the above are from the same reader who, I was surprised to see, did not send me a Christmas card.

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The last insult is from a different reader, albeit about the same column in which I said that Paul McCartney was…no, let's not go there.

This goes on the internet. Paul McCartney's fans are quite rabid and there's only so many flat-haired insults a vapid, cowardly, ignorant, lazy, ridiculous, pathetic, cretinous excuse for a human being can take in one year.

On the flip side: four marriage proposals from readers this year, which is a new high.

Sorry, Mr McCartney, it's still a no.

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