See you after Christmas… have a merry one!

Having forgotten to take any holiday until the latter part of the year (three weeks leave in winter: that was good planning) I fear I won't be here next week.

I'll be back to see out 2012 on December 31 and if you're really lucky I might compile my top five reader insults like I did last year – and there have been some real corkers, ones that have given me plenty of dark nights of the soul.

I hope that you all have a very merry Christmas: I've just found where I hid last year's sloe gin, so mine is pretty much guaranteed (unless I've drunk it all by the time this goes to print, in which case I am sure the NNUH will be able to let you know its visiting hours).

Don't eat too much, don't drink too much, don't have inappropriate moments with regrettable individuals, be grateful for whatever you receive, even if what you receive is another foot spa and your 13th copy of 50 Shades of Grey and most of all, don't beat yourself up when you eat too much, drink too much, have inappropriate moments with regrettable individuals and ungratefully receive all presents by saying: 'do you even KNOW me at all?'

See you in two weeks.