Norwich South MP Simon Wright steps in while I recover from horrid virus
Apologies for last week's unauthorised absence, although I hear that MP Simon Wright filled my slot, as it were, and they say a change is as good as a rest.
I had intended to write my column, but was overtaken by a dreadful ague, the type that everyone else dismisses as a 'cold', but which I felt at some points was akin to the virus in 28 Days Later.
As I type, I am only just recovering from this devastating blow to my immune system and the ability to mutter or think anything other than self-pitying claptrap about my fight for survival.
I did consider writing an entire column where I repeated the same sentence ('Please.
Send. Help') over and over again, but Simon Wright trumped me with plentiful stories about his constituency work.
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On that note, I must thank so many of you for asking me, nay begging me, to come back.
It is with heavy heart, therefore, and still the remains of a heavy head cold, that I must break the news that I am about to desert you yet again.
- 1 Mayhem at some petrol pumps - but how are other city garages faring?
- 2 SOLD! Royal Arcade goes for £2m MORE than guide price
- 3 Monster rats 'the size of cats' invade city - and get in via the LOO
- 4 This is where you can park for free in Norwich
- 5 New café serves a hundred customers in two hours on opening day
- 6 'Untouchable': People tell how Norwich killer left them in fear of their safety
- 7 Mayhem across city as drivers race to the petrol pumps
- 8 The Bill star reveals he has moved to Norfolk and why he loves it
- 9 Six new cafes and shops coming to Norwich
- 10 New flights from Norwich Airport to Jersey
Unusually, my illness occurred just before my holiday, rather than on the first day of it (of course, let's not count any chickens – I can, and probably will, still pull something infectious out of the bag, probably attached to a stack of grimy Match Attax trading cards) and so you're just going to have to cope without me for a week.
I shall be enjoying the one week in the year when no one can look at my clothes, inspired by this year's autumn/winter SAS Night Operations Collection, and say: 'Halloween's over, love'.
If I come trick or treating at your door, my sweet of choice is sweet peanuts. Stock up.
•This article was original published on October 24, 2011