Norwich South MP Simon Wright steps in while I recover from horrid virus
Apologies for last week's unauthorised absence, although I hear that MP Simon Wright filled my slot, as it were, and they say a change is as good as a rest.
I had intended to write my column, but was overtaken by a dreadful ague, the type that everyone else dismisses as a 'cold', but which I felt at some points was akin to the virus in 28 Days Later.
As I type, I am only just recovering from this devastating blow to my immune system and the ability to mutter or think anything other than self-pitying claptrap about my fight for survival.
I did consider writing an entire column where I repeated the same sentence ('Please.
Send. Help') over and over again, but Simon Wright trumped me with plentiful stories about his constituency work.
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On that note, I must thank so many of you for asking me, nay begging me, to come back.
It is with heavy heart, therefore, and still the remains of a heavy head cold, that I must break the news that I am about to desert you yet again.
- 1 Revealed: How much to rent former high street store
- 2 Man put hidden camera in bedroom to spy on wife
- 3 Driver taken to hospital after four-car crash on key road into Norwich
- 4 No more action against teenager arrested after fatal Thorpe stabbing
- 5 Elderly man took his clothes off at Norwich park
- 6 Robbers knock out boy, 14, and steal trainers from his feet
- 7 Unlikely new use for city's Samson and Hercules building
- 8 Suspect identified in search for elderly man who undressed in park
- 9 'Fantastic' new hospital ward welcomes first patients
- 10 Community shock after teenager knocked unconscious as robbers steal trainers
Unusually, my illness occurred just before my holiday, rather than on the first day of it (of course, let's not count any chickens – I can, and probably will, still pull something infectious out of the bag, probably attached to a stack of grimy Match Attax trading cards) and so you're just going to have to cope without me for a week.
I shall be enjoying the one week in the year when no one can look at my clothes, inspired by this year's autumn/winter SAS Night Operations Collection, and say: 'Halloween's over, love'.
If I come trick or treating at your door, my sweet of choice is sweet peanuts. Stock up.
•This article was original published on October 24, 2011