Norfolk puma attacks aliens... now I’ve got you interested
As custodian of the Evening News' Twitter feed, I can confidently report that online readers like nothing more than stories about possible alien sightings and the Norfolk puma.
If we could just find a story about the Norfolk puma attacking an alien craft or making contact with ET we'd have hit internet gold and I could die happy in the knowledge that I had delivered the perfect news story to the Twitter community.
Somewhat disappointingly, all the 'strange lights' seen in Norfolk skies seem to have a desperately mundane explanation: an electrical storm, a military night mission, those stupid sky lanterns, meteors, space rubble. The truth is out there, but sadly it's unspeakably dull.
Then again, things could be worse – people the country over dismiss those of us in Norfolk as six-fingered halfwits but at least we can recognise the moon, unlike the police in Worcestershire.
A police constable there was on duty late last month when he spotted a 'shining light' glowing over Clent Hills, a local beauty spot and, excitingly, 'a hotspot for outdoor sex'.
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The constable radioed his sergeant to tell him he was off to investigate the 'suspicious bright light' and warned he might need back-up if he found a crime in progress.
Twenty minutes later, the officer spoke to his sergeant again to tell him that the light source was in fact the moon. I bet that was a call he really looked forward to making.
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In case Worcestershire police are nervous about the Norfolk sightings of a giant fireball in the sky this week, I'd alert them to check before they go wandering uphill to look for evidence – if it's daytime, the giant fireball in the sky is probably the sun. Just trying to help.