If this music be the food of love, I think I’d rather starve

More important research from academics: what's on your music playlist is as important as your physique when it comes to impressing the object of your affection.

A study conducted at Goldsmiths University in London concluded that more than 40 per cent of people say that listening to music is more arousing than touch during 'an intimate encounter'.

This, I would imagine, says more about the partners involved than the music.

Researchers compiled a list of 20 'seduction tunes' which, along with hammy old favourites such as Serge Gainsbourg, Barry White and Marvin Gaye, mystifyingly included Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now', 'I Want To Break Free' and 'Who Wants To Live Forever', which if you take it in context, sounds slightly desperate, if not illegal.

Other tracks included Ravel's Bolero, Celine Dion's Titanic, 'anything' from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, the Sound of Music (!), 'Grease' from, er, Grease and Kings of Leon, Sex on Fire (don't even go there).

I despair of the human race, I really do.