'I blamed myself': Mum reveals how she found hope after miscarriage

Carina Kettlewell (right) with her husband Andy and their two daughters Emelia (five) and Amaya (11 months old).

Carina Kettlewell (right) with her husband Andy and their two daughters Emelia (five) and Amaya (11 months old). - Credit: Carina Kettlewell

"It is like a scar that never goes away. It is about learning to process it and live with the grief."

Those are the harrowing words of a mother who has praised the invaluable support of Norwich-based TimeNorfolk, a pregnancy loss charity.

After experiencing a stress-free pregnancy with her eldest daughter, now aged five, Carina Kettlewell, 34,  was in shock after a sonographer could not find the heart beat of her unborn baby at the 13-week scan of her second pregnancy in August 2019.

Mrs Kettlewell, who later fell pregnant in January 2020 and had a healthy daughter, sought help from TimeNorfolk after her miscarriage through group counselling.

She said: "I blamed myself because it was my body. It is still quite a taboo subject yet so many go through pregnancy loss.

"Because I thought no one else felt like me I should be getting on with things. That ate me up. It becomes isolating."

She did not confide in loved ones or friends about her experience and after crying in her own in her car during commutes to Norwich for training, the psychological therapist for the Norfolk and Waveney Wellbeing Service rang TimeNorfolk in December 2019.

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Mrs Kettlewell, who lives in Lowestoft, had four in-person group therapy sessions before the lockdown and said it stopped her going down a dark path and helped her anxiety during her pregnancy last year, which had its complications.

"TimeNorfolk is an amazing resource to have," said Mrs Kettlewell who added that was the reason behind her London Marathon fundraiser on October 3 for the charity.

The keen runner, who wants to help others who have gone through similar experiences, is nervous but excited about the 26.2-mile challenge and has so far raised £1,000.

She praised the charity's annual Doorway of Hope service which will happen on October 10, where she will tell her story.

But the therapist, who believed general awareness of baby loss was "going in the right direction", added: "There is still work to be done for employers to recognised how it affects people."

Visit www.timenorfolk.org.uk or call 01603 927487 for information about free counselling sessions.

To sponsor Mrs Kettlewell visit https://bit.ly/3obNoJ5

Inclusive service to remember young lives

A row of candles from a previous TimeNorfolk Doorway of Hope service at Norwich Cathedral. Picture:

Candles lit at a previous Doorway of Hope service in Norwich Cathedral - Credit: Steven Brooks Photography

Family, friends or anyone affected by pregnancy loss can reflect on their loved ones at a special service in a city landmark.

The Doorway of Hope event takes place at Norwich Cathedral from 6pm on October 10 and will include stories of people who have gone through the tough life-changing experience.

People can light a remembrance candle and poignant messages will be read by Rev Canon Andrew Bryant, the Lord Mayor of Norwich, Chis Copsey, chaplain to the Norfolk Coroner, and songs by Mulbarton Community Choir.

Tim and Fiona Gosden, co-directors of TimeNorfolk charity.

Tim and Fiona Gosden, co-directors of TimeNorfolk charity. - Credit: TimeNorfolk

Tim Gosden, co-director of TimeNorfolk, which helps people in Norfolk and Waveney, said: "The service give people the chance for stillness and quiet and time to reflect.

"We are very grateful for people who fundraise for us as they are the ones who enable us to help others."

The charity supports people across Norfolk and Waveney.

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