Heads back boys, let’s see those facial scars
Sticking to the theme of love this week (a theme! Get me) I was pleased to see that valuable research has been carried out to gauge what makes men and women attractive.
The key points, in case you're in a hurry, involve tilting your head forward if you're a woman and backwards if you're a man, smiling if you're a woman but not if you're a man, having a long ring finger and manly facial scars if you're a bloke and waiting to be asked out rather than doing the asking.
I'd falsely laboured under the foolish notion that attractiveness was based on stuff like a shared sense of humour, similar personalities and the realisation that when you look at the person all you see is them wearing nothing other than an expression of wanton abandon.
In reality, it was all about a spindly finger and a tipped back head. All I can picture is ET.
Researchers at Newcastle University think women look masculine with their heads tipped back while men look feminine with their heads tipped forward. Dentists think everyone looks better with their heads tipped back, but we'll pay no attention to them.
University of Geneva researchers, meanwhile, have discovered that women find men with long ring fingers more facially attractive and those with facial scars to be 'extremely attractive'.
The rationale is that 'a man with facial scars is believed to be a survivor of difficult fights, possibly with a sabre tooth tiger. This in turn implies that his children would be more likely to survive if they ever had a run-in with some large, deadly animal.'
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One of my first boyfriends had a scar on his face. He had not battled with a sabre tooth tiger – he had run into his mum's patio door at full pelt and smashed his face on to the glass at the age of nine.
In reality, the scar made me question whether or not I'd want to breed with a man who couldn't remember the existence of a door which had guarded the patio for his entire life. That and the fact that I preferred his friend.
Take that, evolution. And I said it with my head tipped back.