Gove mouths off... and facts are dinosaurs

Michael Gove is never high in my estimation, not least because he has the soft, yielding mouth of a serial killer (I'm not saying he is one, although he might be).

Gove had announced that free schools would lose their funding if they taught creationism as science on the grounds that creationism is a ludicrous myth created out of ignorance to explain the world 2,000 years ago.

If we teach children that the world was created in seven days, we might as well abandon biology entirely and tell them that storks deliver babies and that the Dinosaur Park should be rebranded 'Heretics Land'.

Good old Gove, I thought.

But, of course, one swallow doesn't make a summer, whatever teenage boys tell you, and it was only a matter of time before he went off-message and started spouting nonsense again.

This week, he of the murderer's mouth (I'm not saying he is one, although he might be) did an about turn and approved funding for several schools that will present creationism as science.

On this basis, I am putting forward a proposal for a free school which will present the Lord of the Rings as science and will execute anyone that claims women and men have the same number of ribs. Facts are so 2011.

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I'm also going to be suggesting a syllabus that looks into the insanity of employing men with Hammer Horror mouths in positions of authority (I'm not saying he should be in a Hammer Horror film, but he could be).