Tips for parents to maintain mental health during half term

In my household, the February half-term break has become particularly challenging over the past decade.

It’s the week when a perfect storm can develop: three children at home, the weather isn’t often conducive to relaxed family outings, the bank balance is still recovering from Christmas, my wife and I are trying to balance home-working and childcare … and before you know it, blood pressure levels are rocketing.

I’m sure that what I’ve just described is recognisable to many families.

The fact that post-Covid many more of us work from home to some degree only exacerbates the issue of how to balance our jobs and childcare during the holidays.

So with the February half-term break next week, today we’re going to look at how to maintain your mental health when we’re all cooped up together in the house.

Ruth Taylor, mindfulness manager at Norfolk and Waveney Mind, explains that employing mindfulness techniques can be the difference between feeling overwhelmed and regaining your balance. Her recommendations should help you carve out space for yourself and control your stress levels.

“A good place to start is by noticing the interactions that make you feel most stressed,” says Ruth, “such as when your children won’t do what you ask, or when they are arguing among themselves and need you to intervene when you’re busy – and noting how you feel in those moments.

“We spend a lot of time parenting on autopilot, and it can help if we try to step back and gain perspective, becoming more conscious of what we are feeling. To help us respond to things rather than spiral into over-reacting, the following mindfulness techniques can help.

“Try the Three Step Breathing Space (Google it for full instructions), in which you choose to put your attention on your breathing or body sensations rather than going around the loop in your head. By noticing your ‘internal weather patterns’ you can disrupt the cycle of stressful thoughts until things feel calmer and you can work out how everyone’s needs can, at least partially, be met.

“Work out your priorities for the week and drop the non-essential tasks. It can also help to make time for one daily mindful self-nurture activity – just one moment when you can savour what you’re doing, to ‘retrain your brain’ for more contentment.  It might be enjoying a cup of tea, listening to music, or sitting alone in the garden if you have one.”

Ruth also recommends:

1. Planning your working schedule and making clear to your family when you are and aren’t available. This goes both ways – during time with your children, try to resist checking work emails on your phone. Try to be fully present for them, just as you’ve asked them to understand that at other times you have to be absent.
2. Making a sign for your office door so children know when you mustn’t be disturbed, e.g. if you’re on a video call.
3. Making time for fun – setting aside clear blocks of family time and ensuring everyone feels their ideas for activities are taken on board.
4. Thinking of something you enjoyed before having children and making time for it in the evening. When we’ve shown ourselves it’s possible to have time for our own interests, it’s easier to be kinder to others and less resentful of their demands on our time.
5. Making a gratitude jar with your children. You could note down something they said that made you laugh, or a fun activity you did together. This can be pulled out as a useful reminder when things get frazzled.

And it is always worth remembering a piece of advice from our partners at the national Mind charity that applies all year round, not just during the holidays: “Perfect people or perfect parents don't exist – just focus on one day at a time and do the best you can.”

For resources and information about Norfolk and Waveney Mind’s services, visit norfolkandwaveneymind.org.uk or call 03003305488. For urgent mental health support, call NHS 111 option 2.