Cardboard cut-out police officers propped up in aisles giving shoppers the evil eye have long been used to deter thieves in bargain and pound shops.

It’s a psychological trick that works.

Shoplifting and aggression towards retail staff is rocketing to epidemic proportions as the threat of punishment is small and police response times are slow, if they come at all.

This week John Lewis and Waitrose unveiled their own thief deterrent, free coffee for coppers.

They are offering incentives – isn’t that bribery? – in the form of coffee, tea and cut-price snacks in staff canteens to tempt on-duty officers into stores.

The thinking? Police cars parked outside stores while officers pop in for free hot drinks and discount lunch will make thieves hyper vigilant that police are walking among them.

The deal only works if the officers bring re-useable cups. This is a middle-class initiative, remember.

I can hear the police-issue boot stampede to staff canteens. Offering free anything achieves wonders, and if it coincides with taking a break on the beat, the idea will be a winner. For the police, at least. Kerch-ing.

A great PR stunt because it’s got us all talking, but now thieves who spot police cars outside will know officers who left it will be living it up on handouts in the staff canteen.

The real issues here are shop staff facing daily escalating crime and aggression when they go to work to sell stuff, and the effect this theft has on everyone.

Stealing from shops isn’t the victimless crime it’s portrayed to be. Tell that to a terrorised shop assistant.

The Co-op has already warned that this level of "out-of-control crime" is unsustainable and could see some communities become a no-go area for local stores.

And we all pay in the end for people who don’t through price rises.

Gimmick ‘solutions’ because police priorities don’t include shoplifters – let’s call it theft, shall we? – will not address the real issues.

Reported thefts across retail jumped by 26pc last year, according to figures from the British Retail Consortium. In Norfolk, it was 33pc, according to the Office for National Statistics earlier this year.  

Violence and abuse against people working in retail has almost doubled on pre-pandemic levels with around 850 incidents every day in Britain. That’s appalling.

It’s all part of the picture that the UK is becoming more and more anti-social, with aggression, low level crime and general nastiness becoming a fact of life.

In terms of shop crime, UK retailers spend more than £700m a year in prevention measures but it isn’t enough.

If thieves know there’s unlikely to be any penalty, and taking goods from shops without paying is no longer viewed as a real crime, it will continue to happen to rise.

The cost-of-living crisis is causing more thieves, and thieves are exacerbating the cost of living for everyone.

The Ministry of Justice’s new draft code of practice aimed at governing how police respond to low-level offending named shoplifting as a crime for which first-time offenders could receive a caution instead of being sent to court.

Fair enough. But it feels the crime itself, including repeat offenders, is accepted as a fact of life.

It’s not about being sympathetic to people who cannot afford the essentials. We are.

But organised gangs are working towns and cities who steal to resell.

In 2021-2, shoplifting cost the British economy £660m. That’s not something to be shrugged off as ‘just the way it is.’

The longer it goes on with the blind eye approach, the higher costs will rise, and the more unaffordable essentials will be.

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Kim Kardashian’s bottom has long been revered by young women, leading to increasing buttock implants and exercises to pump posteriors.

But Universal Music Group has dropped Fat Bottomed Girls from a greatest hits compilation by Queen, apparently to avoid causing offence.

I’m thinking it was ‘fat’ they feared would offend and Big Bottomed, Ample Bottomed, or Booty would be more acceptable.

Have they had a complaint or is this another case of fear of what might offend someone at some time?

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August Bank Holiday Monday always used to be my least favourite day of the year because it always used to signal the end of the summer holidays.

September was in sniffing distance; evenings were shorter and long months stretched ahead.

Now, kids grown up, holidays and adventures are saved to after the schools go back to follow an outdoorsy summer enjoying the treats our region has to offer.

Now we can look forward to an Indian Summer and welcoming the changing colours of autumn.