Expert tips for calming 'menopause rage'

Closing your eyes and breathing deeply sends the body and mind a signal that it's time to be calm

Closing your eyes and breathing deeply sends the body and mind a signal that it's time to be calm, says hypnotherapist Tammy Parnell - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

I laughed when I saw a recent list of menopause symptoms on a medical website.

It said: "You may experience increased irritability."  

Completely hilarious. I would say that is the understatement of the century.

Therefore I have put together my top tips on how to deal with menopause rage.

Let’s call it out for what it is and what it feels like. It’s rage. Pure rage, anger, mental aggression, directed inwards or outwards, but in the moment of experience it is raw, and powerful and terrifying.

Hypnotherapist Tammy Parnell

Hypnotherapist Tammy Parnell - Credit: Julia Holland

As I get older and closer to menopause myself, I am increasingly curious about this stage of women’s lives and how we can create an optimum way of living through this phase.  

I love how it is becoming more of an accepted state and the stigma and embarrassment of talking about it is dropping away.  

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The more that we talk about this experience that happens to half the world’s population, the more we normalise it and make it better for all of us.

If you haven't heard the brilliant Dr Louise Newson talking to the Zoe Science and Nutrition Podcast I highly recommend it for up to date, accurate advice about the menopause.  

In particular she explains how we shouldn’t be so scared of hormone replacement treatment, and how incredibly helpful it can be for women. 

It certainly disturbs me when poorly informed doctors recommend women who are experiencing rage, anger, sadness and anxiety to take anti-depressants.  

Menopause is a chemical change in the body and the hormone drops affect every cell in our body as well as our brains, which literally change shape as a result.  

No wonder it can feel like you’re losing your mind. 

Together with HRT, there are also natural ways to help your body, and your mind to adapt to the changes and to ease them gently.  

Improving your gut health, eating the superfoods that your body needs, and relaxation, self care and time to reflect are all vital parts.

Mind and body connection is what I am passionate about, and given that it is all one system, you need to pay attention to all at once.

If you’re eating foods that don’t properly nourish your body, ultra-processed, high sugar junk, this is associated with poor mental health, anxiety, depression as well as obesity and illness. 

If you’re ignoring the signals that your mind is giving you to rest, relax and give yourself the gift of self-care, this is also associated with frustration, anger and hopelessness. 

Learning to read the signals of what your body is telling you isn’t always easy.

They used to call the menopause, ‘the change’ and I invite you to reflect on this.

Sometimes things need to change, and when you resist that change, your body is effectively fighting itself. 

Rapid Transformational Therapy hypnotherapy helps reframe triggers for anger and rage, and helps you with the journey to self-care, and self-love.  

Together we create a self-praise recording which you can listen to, and embed the positivity in your mind.  

We women have for years put others first, and now it’s time to put other selves and our emotional needs first. 

Top tips
If you’re experiencing the feeling of rage from menopause

1. Breathe. Close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly. This gives your body and mind the signal that it is time to be calm. Two minutes of deep, slow breathing will allow the immediate triggered moment to pass over.

2. Move. Allow the build up of energy to move through your body by movement. Shaking your arms and legs, jumping, and dancing are great ways to release the anger. A long walk is perfect too, and has the added benefit of being out in nature.

Journalling and writing down things that you are grateful for can also help with menopause rage, says Tammy.

Journalling and writing down things that you are grateful for can also help with menopause rage, says Tammy. - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

3. Write it down. Journaling your feelings down onto the page, has the effect of getting the rage feelings out of you, and written down you can see more clearly what it is that you were angry about, and then you can take a mental step back and look at it more clearly. Is it real? Is it something that you need to take action over? Or is it a point of view? Is it a story that you have made up, to suit the feeling that you are having?

4. Gratitude. Concentrate on naming three things that you are grateful for. More than three if you can.  This helps create perspective and love for what you have.

4. Sleep. Try to maintain a good sleep pattern by going to bed the same time each night. Avoid alcohol and caffeine in the hours before bed. 

After you have created more calm, make a note in your diary of when this episode happened, and what the apparent triggers were.  

It is really useful to be able to review and look back over a few months, so that you can see if a pattern is emerging.

Tammy Parnell is founder of Tara Hills Therapy and a member of the Feel Good Norfolk Collective

To find out more about RTT hypnotherapy, visit tarahillstherapy.com