It’s a month since my son Jack and I extended our family, welcoming Svitlana and her son Illia from Ukraine into our Norwich home. So far, so good, and even though it's early days we've very quickly found out some of the things we have in common.

Originally from Kyiv, Svitlana, 39, and Illia, 10, escaped during the first week of the Russian invasion; a week in which they spent four days and nights hiding alongside other families in the basement of a building, afraid to go outside. Luckily, they were able to board a packed train out of their beloved city, beginning their long journey to Europe and, ultimately, to us.

They fled to Italy, where they stayed in the interim on a short-term visa in a remote farmhouse belonging to a friend’s parents. They were safe at least, but up in the mountains with no public transport, local shops or schools, Svitlana knew they needed to relocate somewhere she could work, and where Illia would have access to education while the war keeps them away from home.

When we were put in touch, Svitlana and I spoke through an interpreter on a video call and frequently messaged via Whatsapp. Weeks passed between making the initial visa applications and receiving their precious Permission to Travel letters. In the meantime, my home check was carried out along with an enhanced DBS check. This was an anxious time for Svitlana and Illia, with little news. I could only tell them we had to trust the process.

But the documents arrived, and days later so did mum and son. For us, it was a nervous drive to Stansted, and standing in International Arrivals I felt guilty for not having a sign on a Ukranian flag background, blue and yellow balloons or sunflowers to greet them, as others did. But we were there to offer our home, and the actual meeting was very natural and normal – a bit like greeting old friends.

If I’m honest, the most nerve-wracking part of the process was knowing someone was going to see how we live. You’re sharing your routines and habits with strangers. There are knacks to things in your home that you’ve come to live with and no longer question; a way to turn the telly on and off, the front door which doesn’t shut properly unless you do it a certain way, that drawer in the kitchen (you know the one), and the cupboard you dare not open because things will fall on you if you do. In the scheme of things, though, it's all superficial stuff.

They’ve very quickly become a familiar part of our household, and now we’re all pretty comfortable around each other. Illia is the only one of us who can speak both Ukrainian and English, but despite a language barrier we’ve found common ground and there are some simple, ordinary things that we prioritise, laugh about and share.

Food

First and foremost, no matter the country you’re from, your race, religion or the life experience you may or may not have, we all need to eat. My culinary skills leave a lot to be desired (I’m a great heater-upper) but the times we’re all in the kitchen there’s teamwork when it comes to chopping, peeling, cooking and clearing up.

We regularly sit down together and eat. At the table we chat about our day mainly through our app (I’ll explain more about this later).

Svitlana cooks lots of things from scratch, which rather puts me to shame. And we regularly come home to the smells of cooking. Borscht has made several appearances. Thanks to the inclusion of beetroots, it’s the most amazing hot pink colour, and Svitlana has even made me a vegetarian version, which was delicious. The boys are also keen to try foods from each other’s country. They've eaten a roast dinner and fish and chips together, and the reviews were thankfully good!

Kids

Being mums to similar-aged boys has been an important icebreaker. They are, of course, our priority and thankfully they have hit it off straight away. As a mum, you would do anything to protect your children, and this is exactly why Svitlana decided they would leave the only home they had ever known, and members of her extended family, in order to keep him safe.

We show each other photos on our phones of our boys when they were babies and as they have grown up. Ukraine or UK, the pictures aren't that different. We both have captured their first day at school, past Christmases and birthdays and family events. We both have photos of them wearing sunglasses that were way too big for their little heads during summer holidays. We are both equally as proud.

As an only child, Jack is really enjoying having someone else his age in the house, treating it like an ongoing sleepover. They’re finding their common ground through Lego, footy in the garden, bouncing on the trampoline and drawing (Illia is a brilliant artist). I’ll admit there’s a bit of gaming too. The sounds of them shouting at whatever they’re playing online resonates through the house in Ukrainian and English!

Apps

What’s helped us hugely is a brilliant translation app called Say Hi, which is free to download. We’ve found it to be incredibly accurate and it’s really helped with all the admin that needs doing in order for Svitlana and Illia to establish a life here, like opening a bank account and registering for a school and GP surgery.

Illia speaks brilliant English, which will only improve now he’s enrolled in a local school, and Svitlana is keen to learn as she’s keen to find work. Jack and I want to learn some Ukrainian, of course - it would be a wasted opportunity not to. But we laugh that because of our app we’re fluent in each other’s language already.

Animals

These are a great leveller, mostly because they’re great fun, have loads of energy and enthusiasm, and no manners or boundaries. Bertie my cavapoo loves the extra walks, attention and companionship he’s getting at the moment. And he provides the laughs (and sometimes frustrations) when he has a mad five minutes and tears around the house with something he’s stolen – usually a shoe from the now increased pile under the stairs (you know the one, it’s spills out into the hall and threatens to take over your downstairs).

They’re animal lovers; a cat called Sima is back home in Kyiv being looked after by Svitlana and Illia’s neighbours who send regular updates as to how their three-year-old furry family member is getting on. This is accompanied by the latest news from Ukraine and updates on the apartment they bought in their home city three years ago. As I write this, it’s still standing.

Looking to the future

We're all looking forward to getting to know each other better, and I'm confident they will come to love our beautiful county. Their aim is to ultimately return home and go back to their family, apartment, work, school and their beloved cat.

We know there are likely to be ups and downs but are hopeful that we can find our way together and with the support that’s available locally, which so far has been brilliant and includes the drop-in sessions run by Norfolk Polonia CIC at West Earlham Community Centre in Norwich, North Norfolk District Council and Dereham Ukraine Aid Centre.