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Well done, Zara Phillips, for talking about your miscarriage

PUBLISHED: 15:53 30 July 2018 | UPDATED: 15:54 30 July 2018

Zara Phillips has revealed she suffered a second miscarriage before having her daughter Lena last month.  Photo: Steve Parsons/PA Wire

Zara Phillips has revealed she suffered a second miscarriage before having her daughter Lena last month. Photo: Steve Parsons/PA Wire

PA Wire/PA Images

Miscarriages are rarely talked about. Zara Phillips just changed that, says Liz Nice

I’ve always liked Zara Phillips.

Like her mother, she was so damned good at the career she chose to pursue, she won BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

Yes, she had all the advantages, but she still got to be the best.

You have to admire that.

I have never admired her more, however, than at the weekend, when I read her comments about her miscarriages.

We all knew that she had lost one child because that pregnancy in 2016 had already been announced so news of its end naturally had to follow, but no one knew that she had then gone on to lose a second child, a fact she could, if she wished, have kept to herself.

Both Zara and her husband Mike Tindall have spoken about the impact the losses had on them.

How their daughter Mia, four, was the one thing that kept them going ‘because she was always running up in our faces’.

How difficult it felt for them to cope because ‘everyone knew’.

Yet, Zara has spoken of it again, yes somewhat anaesthetised by the birth of her second daughter, Lena, last month, but nonetheless brave enough to expose what she described as a very ‘raw’ grief to the nation, with, one suspects, a motivation only of helping others who may be going through the same thing, just as ‘loads’ of members of the public helped her, by writing to share their own experience of loss.

I have interviewed women who have suffered miscarriages, and have seen my friends go through it too, and they all say how lonely it is, how no one ever knows what to say, how people act as though you can just ‘try again’ as though every hope you ever had for the future had not just died and gone to heaven without even a little grave to tend, a little face to remember, a little cry to ring forever in your heart.

I felt for all those women who taught me that the one thing they needed most after such a heart-wrenching loss was for people to acknowledge that that little life had really mattered.

By speaking out, Zara did just that, and many will thank her forever.

www.miscarriageassociation.org

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