April 2 2015 Latest news:
Andrew Fitchett, Reporter
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
The World Cup is a time for the planet to come together as one, and celebrate its most popular sport.
But, for companies worldwide, it’s also a prime opportunity to make some money by jumping on the football bandwagon.
Here are some of the more bizarre press releases the Eastern Daily Press has received in the past two weeks.
LOO & BEHOLD: HALF THE NATION WILL RUSH TO FLUSH DURING FOOTBALL HALF TIME CAUSING 25% INCREASE IN CALL OUTS
Drain services firm, Dyno, say that 51 per cent of football fans in East Anglia will rush for the toilet during half-time.
They say toilet systems could be about to go into “overdrive” with an expected 25 per cent increase in call outs.
Their probing research also discovered that 27 per cent of fans admit to missing a great sporting moment because they were in the toilet.
In response, Dyno have created emergency “Rush to Flush” squads, who are on high alert around the clock to keep plumbing and drains systems functioning.
GIVE PLUMBING PROBLEMS THE RED CARD DURING THE WORLD CUP
Another sewage-themed release, this time from Drain Doctor Plumbing, who warn that “celebrations may be cut short if there is a drainage disaster”.
The release goes on to say “you’ll feel more like a hapless amateur defender than a World Cup winning superstar if plumbing problems mean your partying is ruled offside”.
But don’t worry, simple cleaning and maintenance should prevent “major and extensive repairs”, according to the doctor.
WHAT KIND OF WORLD CUP FAN ARE YOU?
The team at UK Medals tell us they have put together a list of eight different types of football fan. The link they provide only lists seven, but never mind - what type are you?
• Fair weather
• Excited child
• Ardent Anti-English
• Referee Abuser
• Football Diehard
• Bandwagon Fan
PLAY FOR ENGLAND DURING THIS YEAR’S WORLD CUP FINALS!
This is your chance to play for England in the World Cup, says author Howard R Crockett.
As it turns out, Mr Crockett is actually offering you the slightly less reality-based chance to be the star striker in a fictional Three Lions.
A writer and cartoonist, his fantasy series of books requires readers to “score goals” to “win” the story.
“Every football fan dreams of playing for England” he says. “I wanted to give them a chance to do so, and create a challenge for their imagination.”