I resolve to be even smarmier in 2013 after my smug 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012
4:30 PM

For the first time ever, I can be somewhat smug about the resolutions I made for 2012.

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I actually did start exercising – and stuck to it – and I actually did give up some fairly appalling habits which threatened to either kill me or shred what is left of my mental health into windblown tatters.

I say this because my other resolution for 2012 was to be hideously smug and hateful and where better to do it than in a newspaper where I can be hideously smug and hateful to a crowd of thousands rather than my family and the people I haven’t already alienated by my smug hatefulness.

For those of you gearing up to change your lives in 2013, I say only this: I’ve already done it and I probably did it better than you will and my dad can eat more frogs than yours can, so there.

I hope that helps.

As an aside, I wish you all a very happy new year and thank you for your continued support, which is always appreciated and never taken for granted.

(My resolution for 2013 is to be even smarmier than I was in 2012. And I was very smarmy in 2012, so it’s quite a challenge.)

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