Goodbucks are a bad sign for state of your relationship

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
2:00 AM

I’m not sure about you, but if my beloved suddenly started to score my behaviour on his smart phone and dole out ‘tasks and rewards’ based on how good I’d been, I’d assume he was having some form of psychiatric breakdown.

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A new phone app called GoodBoy offers women the chance to “take the role of the bank manager and debit and credit GoodBucks as she sees fit.

Gentlemen have to earn GoodBucks by completing tasks but can also spend them by claiming rewards.” For example: instead of just going ballistic if the object of your affection openly tells you that he’s checking out other women’s chests, you can fine him a certain amount of points which means he can’t watch football later. Or something to that effect.

I just don’t get it. I’m clearly not modern enough.

Apparently, it’s all very good-humoured, although if you feel the need to download a relationship app in the first place, I’m imagining there’s not a surplus of good humour in your life and what starts out as ‘a bit of fun’ will soon deteriorate into a canter through your shared back catalogue of arguments and end in inevitable bloodshed.

It might just be me, but if you need to spend all day constantly monitoring what your man is doing, deciding whether or not he’s being good, ‘rewarding’ him with points and sending him electronic reminders to be nice to you you’re treading the thin line between ‘girlfriend’ and ‘crazed stalker’.

Men either love you and want to show it or they don’t: you can’t train someone to be a better boyfriend and you definitely can’t do it by constantly badgering them online and making their every last move into some kind of tiresome game (this is definitely 100 GoodGirl GoodBucks in the bank for Briggs. I shall spend them on insisting I am worshipped 24 hours a day and treated like the Queen of Everything).

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