Norwich mum’s anger after city council orders her to remove edging from baby son’s grave

Jodie Smith, 21, at the grave of her baby Kenzie Leggett at Earlham Cemetery, where she has been asked to remove the edging. With her is the baby's nanny, Susan Leggett., Picture: Denise Bradley

Lucy Wright Thursday, August 2, 2012
2:09 PM

A mother has been told she must remove the concrete edging which surrounds the grave of her baby son, who died when he was just one hour old.

Jodie Smith, 21, at the grave of her 20-week-old baby Kenzie Leggett at Earlham Cemetery, where she has been asked to remove the edging. Picture: Denise Bradley

But Norwich City Council has said the edging has extended the size of the plot, making maintenance difficult.

Jodie Smith, 21, of Spencer Road, Old Catton, lost her baby, Kenzie, who was born at 20 weeks on June 21. He survived for just one hour.

He was buried in the baby section of Earlham cemetery on July 3. Her former boyfriend, Daniel Leggett, 22, created the concrete edging around the grave.

She said: “I got a phone call on Tuesday from the city council saying that somebody had complained about it and we have to move it before the weekend.

The sign on the grave of 20-week-old baby Kenzie Leggett, where his parents have been asked to remove the edging. Picture: Denise Bradley

“Before we put the edging down there was a wood surrounding. It’s upsetting – I have paid for the plot, I am pretty angry about it.”

A spokesman for Norwich City Council said: “We perfectly understand that the last thing people who are grieving want to hear about is mundane information about grass maintenance programmes around graves, but this is one of the council’s responsibilities.

“The graves are all marked out to the same size to allow proper maintenance –something which should have been properly explained to the parents by the funeral director.

“The kind of kerbset chosen for this particular grave means that regular maintenance will be hampered so we were put in the difficult position of having to ask the parents to remove it so visitors can pay tribute to their loved ones in an area that is appropriately maintained and retains the overall dignity and tranquillity befitting of a cemetery.”

61 comments

wind chimes keep people awake and lead to stress.they are not a dignified thing to put on a public grave.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 9, 2012
i dont work for the council.i just like rules to be stuck to=fair for everyone.think of people who have no access to complain.those that shout more think they can have the rules bent for them.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 9, 2012
colney woods is dignified and old fashioned.just right to visit loved ones graves.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 9, 2012
I understand that people are bereaved and perhaps angry but running to a newspaper and then possibly on to Anglia News just makes the whole thing so undignified. Its strange that these kind of events happen only in council run cemeteries. My loved ones are in Colney Wood burial grounds and they dont have these problems. The rules are explained upon purchase of the plot and strictly adhered to. The idea of wind chimes, raised borders, monuments etc just sounds gaudy and not really very asthetic... Incidently, insofar as the "sulky picture" comments, well, whilst I think were perhaps not wored very well, I do agree that the picture and indeed the entire article is contrived and designed to muster sympathy and support....all rather sad really...

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Babelfish

Thursday, August 9, 2012
We are not livng in a country that has any respect or moral values period. It is governed by tyranny. Lacking respect for anyone. This grave is fine. I presume the council would like an easy job for maintenance man to mow straight over all the graves. The governship has no respect for the dead and certainly no respect for the living. SHAME ON YOU. Fire these people in their jobs. They need to be reminded that their wages are tax payers money they work for us. They need to inspect al grave sites. Edging has ben done for centuries. Lazy lazy maintenance man in fact the edging is abetter guideline for him to mow otherwise are u saying he is to mow straight over tops of graves destroying all on the grave.

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LadyTrojan

Sunday, August 5, 2012
We are not livng in a country that has any respect or moral values period. It is governed by tyranny. Lacking respect for anyone. This grave is fine. I presume the council would like an easy job for maintenance man to mow straight over all the graves. The governship has no respect for the dead and certainly no respect for the living. SHAME ON YOU. Fire these people in their jobs. They need to be reminded that their wages are tax payers money they work for us. They need to inspect al grave sites. Edging has ben done for centuries. Lazy lazy maintenance man in fact the edging is abetter guideline for him to mow otherwise are u saying he is to mow straight over tops of graves destroying all on the grave.

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LadyTrojan

Sunday, August 5, 2012
I am behind you 100 percent. British Tyrany is being displayed lacking moral value and lacking the knowledge of other cemetaries.

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LadyTrojan

Sunday, August 5, 2012
These actions by the council show without doubt complete lack of moral values and historical knowledge. I suggest a patrol occur across all cemetaries in britain and other countries. Edging is used to outline the plot yours. Its yours to maintain as you wish. The council is confessing the laziness of maintenance people to mow around so in essence you ar mowing over graves destroying objects and flowers on it. Kenzie has bought and paid for her plot its her son to respect and honour as she sees fit. if the council which to state she is an inch or so either way too big then the answer is simple move the edging inwards by the supposed out of alignment. I have no moreto say but if my fellow citizens have chosen to harass Kenzie in this way I would prefer you to move to another country.

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LadyTrojan

Sunday, August 5, 2012
I see ya story in paper my friends little boy is buried near your little boy I think it is wrong that they want u to pull it up I think it' looks really nice better than Wat the council leave there xxx and seeing some of the vulgar comments people are making is just disgusting this poor family are grieving and will never forget the little boy it's been 22 years since i lost my daughter and it still feels like yesterday Fly high little one xxx

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woodcock.jane

Saturday, August 4, 2012
*itsme73* Who a said anything about pulling sad faces or being "Selfish or Unthinking", your the one assuming this, have you lost a child? to know how they feel. How heartless can some people be, they have lost a precious little boy, who was so wanted, loved & missed dearly. So what the hell gives you the right to say that "bereavement means they can what they want" as that is not the case. "So get back in your cage". your barking up the wrong tree. *Bookworm* no one as asked for extra bits or space, you speak utter nonsense & you sound a very selfish person, there is nothing wrong in putting Ornaments or Wind chimes on graves, if people choose to do so. You need to learn not assume things about people you know nothing about. You obviously have not lost a child, to know how my FAMILY are feeling, so please don`t insinuate thae have not followed the guidelines. "So crawl back under your rock, where you belong". *Jimmy Hupperby* Yes rules are there to be followed & they where, I can`t see anything wrong in wanting to have a nice resting place for there son, that`s providing he can rest in peace, instead of all the nasty comments people are making. None of you know what they are going through & you probably don`t care, so just all go to hell & leave my Family alone, as I care, as Kenzie is my Nephew so let him rest in peace. The family have been through enough heartache with out all this.

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Julie Leggett

Saturday, August 4, 2012
Leave them to grieve. How would you like it if your child's grave was ripped apart?

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Lauren Harris

Saturday, August 4, 2012
I find it a tragedy that the city council have requested that they have said about the grave being to big. I find it rich and unfair as when I went to see my fathers grave they had buried over him, so sort it out otherwise I will be complaining to the papers awell !

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Iain Mann

Saturday, August 4, 2012
please can people just leave my son to rest in peace, all these nasty comments, i take it people who have said all these nasty things don't have kids and don't understand how his parents, family and friends are feeling, the are not sulky photo's, it is to fight for my son, who is deeply missed. love and miss you loads Kenzie. R.I.P.

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Jodie Smith

Saturday, August 4, 2012
Whilst I understand the grieving, it would not have done any harm to check first that this was going to be suitable. I don't actually see any thing like it in the photo but there may be similar plots elsewhere. As I say..check first because you ban bet that there will be some rulescancan't do's etc.

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Responsible parent

Saturday, August 4, 2012
please can people just leave my son to rest in peace, all these nasty comments, i take it people who have said all these nasty things don't have kids and don't understand how his parents, family and friends are feeling, the are not sulky photo's, it is to fight for my son, who is deeply missed. love and miss you loads Kenzie. R.I.P.

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Jodie Smith

Saturday, August 4, 2012
please can people just leave my son to rest in peace, all these nasty comments, i take it people who have said all these nasty things don't have kids and don't understand how his parents, family and friends are feeling, the are not sulky photo's, it is to fight for my son, who is deeply missed. love and miss you loads Kenzie. R.I.P.

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Jodie Smith

Saturday, August 4, 2012
Jimmy hupperby your comments and other people on here are disgusting sulky photos really. it's clear to me you dont have children they have just lost there baby, I am sure they didn't break the rules for the fun of it they just wanted a nice place to rest there baby that they will never cuddle kiss again or hear his first words see his first steps, the only thing they can do for there baby it make his grave nice. I think the council are heartless for what they are doin to these poor parents making them destroy the only thing they can do for there son, my heart goes out the the family sorry for your loss

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kev tup

Saturday, August 4, 2012
As you can see from the photograph, each grave has it's own individual touch which i'm sure has made the families of each grave cope a lot better, knowing their lost ones are surrounded by loving items they have put there to show love when they cannot be there to do so. It is easy to see from the comment's that people who have laid their babies to rest are agreeing with how stupid the council are being, rather than being the ones so concerned about whether someone else has a plot bigger than theirs. So to the insensitive people commenting, ask yourself, does a couple of inches really matter? As you can see from the photo, there is not even any grass growing up to the edging. And if it were your loved one, what would you do?

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SMC

Saturday, August 4, 2012
Jimmy Hupperby i cant believe your comments and others on here. Sulky photos really they have just lost a baby. Its quite clear to me than you don't have children the pain of losing a child is painful enough. Without the council who should have a heart once in a while trying to bully them into distorting the only thing they can make nice for there child. They are never going to cuddle him again see his first steps or hear his first word. I bet they didn't even mean to brake the rules they just wanted to make it nice for there son that they have only just lost. leave them poor grieving parents alone my heart goes out to the family for there loss x

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kev tup

Saturday, August 4, 2012
"Jimmy" you want to go crawl back under the rock you came out from. Sulky pictures my a**e, you don`t know what the hell your talking about do you know the family, do you know what they are going through, probably you don`t & you really don`t care, so please don`t critisize my family about RULES. I notice people are quiet good at assuming things of late due the comments by "itsme73" **you need to get back in your cage** Who as said anything about pulling sad faces or being "Selfish or Unthinking", your the one assuming this, have you lost a child to know how they feel?? I can`t believe how heartless some people can be. My Niece as lost a precious little boy, who was so wanted, Loved & missed dearly, so how dare you say that "bereavement means they can do what they want", as this is not the case. "Bookworm" you speak utter nonsense & sound to be very selfish, there is nothing untoward about wanting to put Ornaments or Wind chimes, etc or what ever people choose to put on a grave, it is not hurting anyone other than by the sounds of things your pride!!!! R.I.P Kenzie, please just leave my (Great) Nephew in peace. The Family have been put through enough, with out adding any more upset by nasty comments.

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Julie Leggett

Saturday, August 4, 2012
I am familar with Earlham Cemetery. More recently (since we had a change of contractors & issues with funding), maintenence has become more tardy. Grass is cut but not removed and just ends up covering all the graves & flowers. Trees have not been pruned & the waste bins are overflowing. I find it hard to believe that a bit of concrete beading will seriously impact on the maintenance of that grave and the surrounding area.

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Meds

Friday, August 3, 2012
Leave the family alone and let them grieve. They have gone through something traumatic! It is not doing anyone harm so should not be tampered with. My thoughts go out to the family x.

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Kayleigh's Craft

Friday, August 3, 2012
How the hell dose the concret egding harm anyone and surely it looks better it must be easyer to mantain than wood. And how can the Thay ring up and tell them to remove it after what the parents have been through personally I think it hursh

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Beng Riches

Friday, August 3, 2012
@Jodie - if you see this, your dealing with bureaucrats and sometimes simply rethinking the approach is what it needs. Simply say to them that you will bury the edging below the grass line. If they have a problem with that then point out all the other differences with other graves. Hopefully they will leave you in peace. smiffy

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Smiffy

Friday, August 3, 2012
Condolences to the family at what must be a difficult time. I'd suggest that getting the concrete border resized to meet the regulations would be a good resolution to the dispute.

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AE

Friday, August 3, 2012
to the person whos comment said 'pulling sad faces for the camera !!!' These people have lost a child or grandchild - what do you expect ? Its something they will never forget....

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Michaela Heggie

Friday, August 3, 2012
windchimes should be banned. unless one lives alone in a huge stately home with acres of land.

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bookworm

Friday, August 3, 2012
my twin daughter has been there 15 years in november and everytime i go to her grave it is always over run by long grass and weeds i live in skegness know and i come down every year and i always make sure i go to her grave and tidy it all up and where my little girl is there is another baby grave and they have like a christmas tree in the way so it makes it really hard to attend to her as i found out when i went on tuesday and i totally agree we pay for the plots in which our babies are laid to rest so we should be able to put what ever fencing we want round them to make them look better then they do.

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Jenty Morter

Friday, August 3, 2012
how awful and what a stupid rule, if its a childrens area then im sure than most of the parents would want to keep them neat and tidy as well as colourful ect. i know i would. i had my son at 25wks but was very very lucky and he survived but several we met didnt and we were planning things in our heads. these parents have been through the worst grief possible and i dont see that its doing any harm at all. love to all the family xxx

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thumper327

Friday, August 3, 2012
my twin daughter has been there 15 years in november and everytime i go to her grave it is always over run by long grass and weeds i live in skegness know and i come down every year and i always make sure i go to her grave and tidy it all up and where my little girl is there is another baby grave and they have like a christmas tree in the way so it makes it really hard to attend to her as i found out when i went on tuesday and i totally agree we pay for the plots in which our babies are laid to rest so we should be able to put what ever fencing we want round them to make them look better then they do.

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Jenty Morter

Friday, August 3, 2012
*** Regarding the wind chimes, I think they look lovely too and the sound is very relaxing.***. In other words , stuff everyone else who wants a bit a peace and quiet.

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LARSON.E. WHIPSNADE

Thursday, August 2, 2012
a cemetary is a public public with 'house rules'. just because they have a bereavement doesnt mean they can do what they want. frankly its selfish and unthinking. and going to the paper and pulling sad faces for the camera is a bit dim. why show some respect to the cemetary and the other bereaved people who have been considerate.

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itsme73

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Here we go again 22 years ago I too added a small edging of stone to my daughters grave, level with the ground and had the same response! I never removed them despite the threats! I went to see the cememtary manager and was told of the rules no raised headstone no borders etc. Today she is surounded by pickett fences, these stupid wind chimes nobody asked me if I wanted them over my daughter and much more! to this day I wish I had never had her buried in the children's section it looks so untidy and is an ugly hotpotch of garden ornaments etc, but at the time it seemed a good idea that she should be laid to rest with other children. If I could I would have her moved to the proper cememetry were all this nonsence would be avoided. R.I.P Kristina

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City Boy

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Susan Leggett Ne Wayt, bring these control freaks to their knees gal..The Daily Mail would love this heartbreaking story of little people taking on nuLabour and their Stasi like officials.

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nrg

Thursday, August 2, 2012
The grave looks neat and tidy... and not overtaking anyone elses plot ? So cant see what the problem, why cause the family more upset, I can understand that rules have to be made- but surely if the plot is paid for , they own it ?? - as lobg as it is kept neat and tidy there shouldnt be a problem, x

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Michaela Heggie

Thursday, August 2, 2012
My baby boy oskar is also in the same area. i think what they are making you do is disgusting!! I had my own fence for over a year until they put that crappy wooden fence in.. they seem to have rules for all.different people down there it isnt fair. i had alot of.trouble with them in jan 2011. And how is that edging stopping mantance? I cut around oskars gravr myself beacause they cut so close they either get the graves covered in grass or things get broken. id stnd down here and refuse to remove it. Oskars dad threatened the same thing about oskars headstone and we got what we wanted in the end every prent down that area has had a problem. also im sorry for ur loss <3 xxx

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oskarsmummy2010

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Absolutely disgusting…….. Heartless jobsworth council for ya. Some asswipe behind a desk causing more grieve all over nothing. Id like to know what the council use to cut between the graves as a lawnmower certainly wont fit, so guess it must be a stimmer!!! And if the council were to put there collective total of 3 brain cells together they’d see that the edging makes NO difference to maintenance. Love how they pass the blame on to the funeral director. you’ve paid for the plot just tell the council where to go

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Luke Bonura

Thursday, August 2, 2012
i take it bookworm works for the council as his comment are very nasty and harsh, also bablefish it was not the mum who went to the paper it was me the nannie we r all grieving for a precious little baby, every 1 is making mountains out of molehills as the grave is a fraction bigger due to the edging but only a fraction if you measure it again, you cannot get a lawn mower between the graves would have to use strimmer so i dont see the problem, if i have to i will also give my story to Anglia tv as our baby Kenzie's grave should b left alone please.

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Susan Leggett Ne Wayt

Thursday, August 2, 2012
I'm quit good at gardeninggrounds work and this edging would not restrict any maintainace, I just wanted a nice place for my son to rest peacefully

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Daniel Leggett

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Typical council always charges in heavy handed. For once NCC sit back and think, before being so harsh in future.

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chebram71

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Me and my dad went to my nieces resting place today who is also in the children's section and had a look at the above grave and could not see any problem with it, I think it looks lovely. Regarding the wind chimes, I think they look lovely too and the sound is very relaxing. The subject of the council not being able to cut the grass round the graves, in the picture above the grass is all long But today they've cut round all the graves including the one in the picture. Weird isn't it, there's a bit in the paper and suddenly they can manage to cut the grass round it and my nieces spraying all of the graves with grass cuttings too. Leave them grieving people alone I say.

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Tatman

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Me and my dad went to my nieces resting place today who is also in the children's section and had a look at the above grave and could not see any problem with it, I think it looks lovely. Regarding the wind chimes, I think they look lovely too and the sound is very relaxing. The subject of the council not being able to cut the grass round the graves, in the picture above the grass is all long But today they've cut round all the graves including the one in the picture. Weird isn't it, there's a bit in the paper and suddenly they can manage to cut the grass round it and my nieces spraying all of the graves with grass cuttings too. Leave them grieving people alone I say.

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Tatman

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Me and my dad went to my nieces resting place today who is also in the children's section and had a look at the above grave and could not see any problem with it, I think it looks lovely. Regarding the wind chimes, I think they look lovely too and the sound is very relaxing. The subject of the council not being able to cut the grass round the graves, in the picture above the grass is all long But today they've cut round all the graves including the one in the picture. Weird isn't it, there's a bit in the paper and suddenly they can manage to cut the grass round it and my nieces spraying all of the graves with grass cuttings too. Leave them grieving people alone I say.

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Tatman

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Pathetic jobsworths again. In the photo there is no grass near the edging

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Jacob Burns

Thursday, August 2, 2012
i have stuck by the rules, the grave is no bigger, and surly having concrete around is easier to maintain, all i want is a nice place to go and see my son, who is sadly missed, coloured stones that i have paid for will go all over the place as the wooden edging did not come up far enough.

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Jodie Smith

Thursday, August 2, 2012
if everyone decided to have extra bits on the graves chaos would happen.dont forget many people cannot speak up or post the paper on this.The silent majority have loved ones buried too.there is only so much space allowed per grave and the council workers have to have access to the land too. it is a simple concept to grasp and quite seperate from feeling sorry for those who have lost someone.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 2, 2012
everyone is entitled to a small space and must stick to the rules for everyone's benefit. some who make a fuss hope to get their own way but it does not work like that.the council are trying to be fair to everyone who has relatives in the cemetery.They are not being "jackbootish" as some poster has said.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 2, 2012
I think that it is really wrong taking my cousins edging down as it is only a fraction bit bigger and there shouldn't be any thing wrong with having it around the grave. As it is not doing any harm to anyone or any thing.

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Tara Leggett

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Is it seriously that difficult to cut some grass around grave edging!!!! I have no experience in gardening but i'm pretty sure i could manage it and there is such a thing as a strimmer.

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Hayden Leggett

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Sad for mum, but I think I have the answer. The council want to send a city care work in there to zip through with a lawn mower one every two weeks with out obstacles that can delay that, so if mum would suggest to bury the hedge below the grass line I think it would be a winwin. Smiffy

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Smiffy

Thursday, August 2, 2012
I get the impression that a liaison person is perhaps needed to talk with the relatives of the recently deceased some time after interment to make sure they understand the rules for cemeteries and grave yards. This could perhaps be delegated to funeral directors but one expects that immediately after a death is too soon. But if a regular monument erected by a stonemason is not used one wonders what sort of detailed instructions about memorials those who bury relatives or friends get from cemetery managers and whether everyone would think to ask about restrictions. Everyone expresses grief in different ways, maybe some need to be told the guidelines a little more clearly.

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Daisy Roots

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Yes, very sad to lose a baby but if we do as some have suggested and not bother with rules to keep the cemetery looking respectable & tidy as well as keeping maintenance costs down for the tax payer then edging around an infants grave would soon progress on towards having hideous and tasteless monuments etc... Anyway, I do have to question whether anyone running to a local paper, being photographed looking forlorn etc is actually what can be classed as dignified mourning? It would certainly be the last thing Id be doing...

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Babelfish

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Another of the council control freakery finest moments. If the couple and their relatives promise to maintain the very small area of grass between the adjoining graves, the problem could be solved in a less jackbooted way....but this is a nuLabour run council and common sense and fairness is not one of their traits.

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nrg

Thursday, August 2, 2012
sorry for the lady's loss but rules apply to all the graves.

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bookworm

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Well when I read this i felt totally upset. Me and my partner had trouble having a baby we lost one when she was only 6weeks pregnant. But losing a baby at 20 week and then all the upset we had i cant begin to imagine the pain they must be going though not on at all leave there baby alone to RIP

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kev tup

Thursday, August 2, 2012
***Why can`t people leave the parents to grieve in peace****. There are others who would like to grieve in peace but can't because of the constant clanging of wind chimes , some of these graves look like an explosion in a Poundland store. Oh for the days of restraint and quiet dignity

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LARSON.E. WHIPSNADE

Thursday, August 2, 2012
This family have been through enough with losing this little boy,what harm is a little bit of beadling doing? Just let my little nephew rest in peace and not having his grave torn apart.

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Chantelle Easton

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Why can`t people leave the parents to grieve in peace, yes there are guidlines & rules for lots of things. Surely it can be resolved without all this heartache, all they are wanting to do is to make his grave look nice.

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Julie Leggett

Thursday, August 2, 2012
I hope those people who are complaining about that poor babies grave can sleep at night let the baby rest in peace.

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carol.wayt

Thursday, August 2, 2012
there my be rules but its not hurt any body i think leave it where it is there grieving is that not that enough

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Carolann Leggett

Thursday, August 2, 2012
Of course I have sympathy with the mother here but there do have to be rules and guidelines in cemeteries as elsewhere. It is no use being angry if you ignore them and get put straight.

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petential@aol.com

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Norwich mum’s anger after city council orders her to remove edging from baby son’s grave

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