Ask a stranger for a pen picture of Norfolk, and chances are you’ll get a mixture of passport control, Delia’s dumplings, plump turkeys, big skies, restored windmills, sugar-beet, Swallows and Amazons and The Singing Postman.

Every region is forced to swallow an overdose of stereotyped images. We just shake our pitchforks, smooth our smocks and ruminate on our straws with even more vehemence than usual... and then smile at such generalisations.

Norfolk’s comparative isolation has its virtues, even if traditional caution is still too often mistaken for calculated coldness.

Being on the Road to Nowhere invites accusations of falling behind the times and blatantly  out of touch, though those pointing accusing fingers regularly fail to disguise their envy over such an uncluttered way of life.

Growing numbers of the worldly and well-heeled seeking sanctuary in rural retreats, especially during the Covid pandemic,  merely underlies that ambivalent attitude towards boltholes like Norfolk.

I have heard many cries of “Nice place – shame about the peasants!”.

Perhaps the “friendly invasion” of Americans during the last war left a bigger mark than generally recognised.

In any event, it provided a useful rehearsal for good-natured sparring to come between hard-boiled natives and pushy newcomers with that missionary zeal.

Where Norfolk takes genuine umbrage  is when the whole business descends into bucolic buffoonery.

So many drama productions allegedly set in Nelson’s County on national television and radio- - and occasionally on stage – make a real mockery of geography, local pride and artistic accuracy.

Norfolk, it seems, is a strange place wedged somewhere between Devon and Dorset as actors straight from Mummerzet House Academy exclaim “oooh-aaar! oooh-aaar!” roughly along the same lines as other stage rustics with vacant faces, plodding walks and the guarantee of a role in the next epic calling for that authentic country feel.

Embarrassed mutterings about that accent being so hard to imitate do nothing to remove the sting from insults to both Norfolk and the West Country.  

Indeed, To lump all country dialects together in the same big rustic pot is an affront to so many areas with individual character and respect for truly local heritage. After all, these very qualities helped  attract most settlers and holidaymakers in the first place.

I founded FOND – Friends Of Norfolk Dialect – in 1999 to help put our survival mission on a more organised footing and I’ve noticed a marked increase in support from newcomers and regular visitors for something supposed to have been on its last legs many years

I am bilingual. I can speak and write Proper English and Broad Norfolk with equal facility, a double-act captured by Thomas Hardy as far back as 1891 in Tess of the d’Urbervilles.

He wrote: “Mrs Durbeyfield habitually spoke the dialect; her daughter, who had  passed the Sixth Standard in the National School under a London-trained mistress, spoke two languages; the dialect at home, English abroad and to persons of quality”.

International playwright Arnold Wesker set a trend few have seen fit to follow when he made genuine attempts to find out how Norfolk people talk for his play Roots, first staged in 1959.

He told me the best production of that play he had seen – and heard – was presented  in the Maddermarket Theatre in Norwich.

He deplored the Mummerzet Sound. A few years working in the county and marriage to a Norfolk girl clearly helped him avoid the usual bucolic commotion.

Here’s a small selection of most-used Norfolk expressions coated in dialect to help break down  a few communication barriers for newcomers and tourists:

  1. Are y’orryte, my  ole bewty? – how are you today,  my friend?
  2. Best part o’ sum tyme – taking a fair while.
  3. Cor, blarst me! – Well, I’ll be blowed!
  4. Bit dark over Will’s mother’s – bad weather is coming. Will’s mum not confined to Norfolk.
  5. Dew yew keep a’troshin’! – keep at it. keep going. Americans might say “Keep on truckin”.
  6. Ding o’ the lug – customary punishment for a naughty boy in them good old days. 
  7. Fair ter middlin’ – stock response to health inquiries, giving nothing away.
  8. Git late earlier – the nights are pulling in.
  9. Jargon – what healthy Norfolk people do before breakfast -  go a’jargon.
  10. Knockin’ and toppin’  - the lot of sugar beet workers before mechanisation. Beet were banged together and then the leaves sliced off.
  11. Ole Year’s Night – New Year’s Eve .
  12. Rum ole dew – a very strange business.
  13. Stand well clear o’yarself – important instructions to be followed on Bonfire Night.
  14. Suffin’ goin’ abowt – Norfolk’s most common ailment.
  15. Summer an’ winter ’em first – dominant characteristic of Norfolk diehards especially where newcomers are concerned. Wait until you have their measure before accepting them
  16. That’ll larn yer! Serves you right. 
  17. Wossitgottedewwi’yew? – rebuke to anyone being too inquisitive.
  18. Fare yew well, tergether. A fond goodbye. “Tergether” refers to all present, whether singly or in a crowd.