Out and about
My fourth semester in Al Ain is coming to an end and it's been wonderful. Back in 2007 I really thought that I was burned out as a teacher. Working at Norwich City College, each morning I had to force myself to go to work and try to endure some of the more challenging classes minute by minute, sometimes escaping to the toilet just to get myself together again. The churning stomach feeling of dread would begin around lunch-time each Sunday as I gloomily anticipated the start of another week of far too much work, difficult students and impossible expectations from everyone. That was such a contrast to how it feels here right now. I am relaxed and contented and the fact that my working week will start tomorrow is not a problem at all. In fact, I actually look forward to going to work.
One of the reasons for this cheery attitude to work is the fact that some of my teaching load involves mentoring our senior students who are out on work experience. My duties include making myself available if they have a problem, keeping in touch with them and going to their place of work to talk with them and their supervisors. The side benefits of the mentoring is that I have the opportunity to borrow a college car and get out and about in Al Ain and, occasionally, off into the desert to the smaller towns and villages. I am able to learn more about the Emirati culture and can sometimes have real heart-to-heart discussions with the students.
What's particularly interesting is observing how the culture and expectations are changing. There have been very clear rules about dress and social behaviour. Women have to wear the black abayah and sheilah (long gown and head covering) as soon as they begin menstruation. It is forbidden for them to have contact with men, other than their immediate family, until they are formally married. On their wedding night they are expected to be virgins. Men and women are not permitted to study together. At a recent talk about human rights some male students were invited to attend and management went to great lengths to ensure that males and females sat separately. Marriages are arranged by the parents, although most of the girls are allowed to refuse a potential husband. The college has strict rules about who can be admitted through the security gate. The choice of work placement employer can be a potential hazard for some of the families, as the level of strict adherence to the rules varies according to the views of the different families. Some students are allowed to go to banks, hospitals etc where they will mix with men of all nationalities. Sometimes the girls can take this kind of work, but must have their faces covered. Some families forbid any possibility of mixing with men and insist that the girls' placement should be in a girls' school. I find the contrasts in attitudes interesting. I'm also amazed at the way that the students accept their family's demands on the way that they live their lives. They are very protected. Even thought they are adults, they cannot just phone a friend and arrange to meet for a shopping trip at the local mall. They must be accompanied by a male relative who will ensure there is no inappropriate behaviour. But things are slowly changing. Some of the Emirati men will pass by an Emirati woman and drop a piece of paper near them with their phone number. The more rebellious girls have 'phone boyfriends' and spend hours chatting about naughty things. Then there are girls like Azza, who is pious and correct in every way. I had a long chat with her about her fiance and her future recently. Her fiance is studying in the US and corresponds by email to make sure that she is behaving herself. He tells her that she mustn't do anything that will bring her in contact with other men, even though he is free to do exactly as he pleases with the racy Western women he will come across on a daily basis. Azza is proud of her obedience and chasteness because it makes her family happy and it is what her religion expects. I asked her about her future career plans. She would like to be a teacher and will need to study further. She will have to ask her fiance if that's OK and if he disagrees with her plan she won't pursue the idea. I have great admiration for Azza, although I know that I could never cope with these restrictions and the lack of equality and freedom. How much longer this obedience can continue is another matter. Satellite TV beams in endless hours of American TV and movies and, in spite of the crude editing to remove any reference to affection and sex, the girls are increasingly aware of how girls live in the Western world. Another student, Ameena, has unlimited access to the internet and has had two cyberspace boyfriends to my knowledge. She's 28 years old and doesn't want to marry an Emirati man who may be very strict about what she can and cannot do. However, she's a normal, healthy young lady with all the usual hormones and urges. With no other choice available to her, without serious repercussions, she is falling in love with European men who she can see on a webcam and who email her sweet nothings. After a few months of this titillation, she is cyber-dumped.
Last week I had to interview Shaikha about her work placement. Her answers to my questions were due to be assessed. However, after the question 'What type of information was confidential?' our conversation went into an alarming direction. She was shocked by discovering the number of young Emiratis who meet at a particular park in Al Ain for gay sex - men and women. She is worried about the implications for these people and what it means for the future of her country. The reason that she found out about these activies was because she was involved with families who were seeking help for their teenage children who had been caught in the act. I wonder whether the reason these young men and women meet for gay sex is because they are forbidden to have relationships with the opposite sex.
Disaster struck the college this week. One of our students did a runner. This has caused a commotion at the highest levels and it's been a particularly difficult week for our managers. Various investigations have taken place to discover who was responsible for the lax security which resulted in her 'escape'. The girl's brothers have been to the college and I believe it wasn't a pleasant discussion. The brothers can be the most tyrannical members of the family who will do anything to retain the 'honour' of their female siblings and the family. The girl has not yet been found and there is concern for her safety. If she is found she will be in deep trouble because she has brought shame to the family. She must have weighed up the implications before she left with whoever has helped her. I hope that it was worth it for her sake.