Look, I was in the Gym at 6:50am, right!

Today, for the first time in about two years, I went to the gym fashionably early. I was there at 6:50am! Yes, dear reader – ten to seven. The reason for my early arrival didn’t put me in the best of humour. My daughter is now a fully fledged student. This means she walks into any establishment selling anything that students like such as food, drink or clothing with her student card thrust out in front of her demanding huge discounts on everything just because she is a student and therefore the world owes her a living. The other thing that students seem to do is assume that parents are put on this planet to operate a free taxi service on a 24/7 basis. They also develop a desire for money and will do the jobs that asylum seekers reject such as serving breakfast at a local hotel to a bunch of overweight businessmen who have absolutely no need for a full English. Hence my arrival at the doors of the gym at 6:50am.

I had forgotten the earnest early morning crew. Those hardy individuals I used to witness queuing outside the door at 6:30am on a freezing January morning. I used to watch from the car and give them ten minutes to clear the changing room before I slobbed in. They never seemed to speak to each other - in that embarrassed way that even people who know each other really well don’t speak in a lift. I eventually arrived in the gym. I swear that most of them are the same people who were there two years ago. From ridiculously skinny women of a certain age who should know better to elderly men with calf muscles so tight you could almost reach out and twang them. I was left feeling, quite rightly, totally inadequate and vowing never again to return at that time of day.

What I did notice, however, is something I had been meaning to comment on (OK, grumble about) for some time now. I was watching TV and saw some Australian Cricket spokesman explaining why his players would not be returning to India in a hurry because of today’s bomb blast. Yeh, right Cobber – nothing to do with the fact that the Indians whipped your colonial arses in the recent Test Series then!

What his appearance reminded me of is this recent and HUGELY annoying Southern Hemisphere Sportsman (Australia, New Zealand and South Africa) habit of starting every sentence with the word “Look”. Have you noticed.

“Look guys, England have a chance against us but it isn’t a very big one”

“Look, Australia have always produced the best Rugby players”

“Look the weather and the pitches over in India just didn’t suit our style of play”

STOP IT – OK. It is really annoying when it is made to sound like “Look you ignorant Northern Hemisphere tw@t I’m saying this for your benefit, so please pay attention”. The trouble with countries that rely on sheep for a living is that they start to act like them and when one starts using a phrase (usually Shane Warne) then they all feel the need to follow. Before you know where you are the South Africans are in on the act too because they consider themselves to be as good as the Aussies only they are tougher because they wrestle lions.

I’m sorry that I brought it up really because I’m sure that anyone who is unfortunate to read this will start to feel as irritated as I do……and that will only serve to encourage them!