The Grumplings do The Red Bull Air Race
The Grumpy Family went off to darkest London yesterday – to see The Red Bull Air Race. It was held over the River Thames on the bend round, what for me will always be, The Millennium Dome.
Really Spectacular!
Family expeditions are increasing fraught these days as they inevitably lead to grumblings over separation from boy/girlfriends. What made this one a double whammy was that they had to get up about five hours earlier than normal, at 6:00am for a 6:30am departure. This was largely due to the fact that Red Bull informed the world that the first race was 9:00am. Oh, and there would be no parking available at the Dome itself. London Transport did its bit by choosing this weekend to do maintenance on the only tube line into Greenwich North and, no, they couldn’t possibly alter it for what is a global event rivalling F1 Grand Prix.
With quiet but insistent grumblings from the back of the new “48 mile per gallon but still regarded as a Gas Guzzler” vehicle, we set off. Mrs G wasn’t even giving her usual free driving lessons.
First annoyance is that ridiculous Suffolk stretch of the A140. The “experimental” system which sees a different speed limit every 100 yards even if nothing else changes seems to have become a permanent feature. I really would be fascinated to learn the facts behinds the “accident reduction” figures versus the amount now collected by Suffolk County Council in fines. I won’t be holding my breath. However, Greater London has somehow contrived to out-bizarre Suffolk. We cross the Dartford Bridge and turned onto the motorway towards London and The Dome. Within a couple of mile we encountered a “Low Emission Zone” complete with vehicles crawling along at the prescribed 50-mph on the three lane roads. What’s going on here? How is better for the environment or road safety when vehicles are still travelling on the roads with their polluting engines running twenty minutes after they should have been safely parked on their concreted-over front gardens? The answer, I’m pleased to say, soon became apparent when I noticed the route littered with them big, square, yellow stealth tax collection boxes checking everyone is crawling along at 50 mph and issuing automatic tickets to anyone doing 51.
A Muppet with a stupid voice and an even more stupid idea.....
Much later than necessary we approached The Dome and all began the search for a £20 parking space run by some enterprising foreign gent who had the idea of getting up before everyone else and selling the spaces in a company car park near The Dome while the bosses slumbered on. No such luck for us. We arrived at the site to find a chap ushering us into the official car park right next to the venue and asking for………£5. The Car Park was virtually empty which was no surprise as it was supposed to be shut! The result of our good fortune with the Car Park was that we were forty five minutes early, which was no bad thing. There didn’t seem to be too many people milling around the entrances though.
The reason became apparent when we milled with the few who were there. The gates didn’t open until 9:30am and the first race was not 9:00 but 12:20. I began to discuss the situation with a Security Guard but realised the futility of the dialogue seconds after he did. We waited. And we waited. And we waited. Eventually we were allowed in and made for the coffee stalls. “Sorry, only cold drinks at the moment”. This went on for an hour.
Pre race entertainment started ay 11:00 and it was spectacular. No, really…it was! The Races themselves started on time and they too were spectacular even if the Brits were quickly eliminated. Back to the car after and we were out of the Car Park and at the back of the queue for the Blackwall Tunnel within 10 minutes. I had decided to take this route to avoid spoiling my improving day with more “Low Emission Zones”. Got through the Tunnel and what do I find – Low Emission Zone! I can’t help thinking the Chinese have the right idea. Pollute all you like – promise the world you will clean up all your unsociable activities, like torturing people, to get The Olympics then ignore everyone when they find you’ve done nothing at all. Sorry, went a little political there – it won’t happen again.
Once again London doesn’t fail to amaze me. Last visit it was a huge crack in the floor at the Tate Modern which passed as Art, followed by dinner in a hyped up Burger Bar called The Rain Forest. Despite having to book weeks in advance this turned out to be like Zaks on a very bad day with Australian waiting staff and a huge shop selling crap toys for spoilt kids who were no wiser about the Rain Forest when they can out than they had been when they went in. This time it is a ridiculous, not thought through Low Emission Zone. Thank God they have Boris in charge now is all I can say – he serves them right!
I can't wait to get back to London soon to see what a sensible bloke like Boris has done to our dear old Loony town.