I’m at that weird point in my life where I’m jealous of my friends who are doing things at opposite ends of the spectrum. Some of my friends are just off adventuring in the farthest reaches of the planet. Like my friend Joe who is living the dream of staring in a Japanese advert topless with star glasses and a yellow ball on his head and known only as Grapefruit man. That is just one of the greatest things ever – who wouldn’t want to do that? (Okay topless for him is different to topless for me … so maybe not topless.)

 

Then on the other side are my friends have beautiful babies and naming them Logan, London, Novella, or Avery. I want a baby I can name. I think it might just be a Spring thing but there is no doubt in my equal measures of broodiness and wanderlust.

 

So in my inbox last week I get the news of Joe’s cult statues in Japan and my friends Dan and Vicky’s new baby. I also get the news that my good friend Jon-boy is going to be having a baby girl. (Well his wife Heather is having the baby, he’s not the pregnant man from the States.) They decided on the name Avery but have yet to pick a middle name. Well this was my advice...

 

“Yeah a little Jon-girl! I like the name Avery a lot - very nice. Middle names are funny things, I like them because you can make it as crazy as you like (but still being aware of what disastrous initials you might be giving them like my good friend George Adam Yencho – unfortunate, or for example my parents couldn’t have given me the middle name Kristen.) I think your safe with A.D. unless the middle is D and she’s a hyper child.

 

If you don’t mind me throwing my two cents (about one pence pound sterling) can I suggest some good middle names I’ve heard: Summer, Autumn, Violet, (Any of the old fashion flora and foliage can be good your: Poppy, Daisy, Iris, Rose, Heather, Hazel, Lilly, Spider Plant, etc. Or there are the old fashion names after precious stones your: Ruby, Opal, Pearl, etc.)

 

Family names are nice like Chris’s middle name is Annis which is his Grandmother’s maiden name – for example if my parents did that my name would be Katherine McCullough K. which is not bad but I could never give my child the middle name Follis. Imagine Follis and Annis – shocking. Your parent’s first names work well too. I think boy’s names for little girls are cute, like George or Vinnie (not Vinnie.)

 

There is the popular naming of places like London, Brooklyn, Sydney, Mattoon. Or the popular naming after where they where conceived like Chris would be Christopher Malta K. and I’d be Katherine Probably-One-Eggnog-Too-Much-Christmas-Eve K. There is also the popular American thing of naming girls after dead presidents your: Madison, Kennedy, Tyler, Polk. I hope that helped (doubtful but I hope) I also hope you’re both well and I look forward to meeting Avery Eisenhower Dirksen in a few months.”