Rubbish Bins and Other Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

Let’s play a game called ‘What’s in my Front Garden Now?’. If you’re an avid reader of this blog you’ll know it’s not a rubbish bin. Let’s see, did you guess… a bottle? A can of half drunk energy drink? Bank receipts? A Green Party newsletter? Vomit? Human urine? If you did then you are right! Oddly when the students were on break there were none of these things found in my garden. I can’t blame the green party newsletter on the students only on the universe having a deep sense of irony. I only know about the urine because I overheard students discussing their plan of bladder liberation, would you believe in loud drunken voices, while waiting for the bus. Before I could don more appropriate clothes for confrontation the bus, miracle of miracles, actually showed up and whisked them away. (Hopefully before they spent a penny watering my flowers.)

‘So how does my battle of the bin rage on?’, you might ask. Firstly let me say all this blogging is starting to sound as if I’m obsessed with it, I’m not. I’m more obsessed currently with this nasty viral infection I caught in my ear causing my balance to be as good as Lindsey Lohan taking a sobriety test. Also I’ve been in Chicago for Christmas – yes it was lovely, and snowy! (Insert paragraph of rambling prose about how I love lots of soft floating snow in sodium lights, then a side note about watching Field of Dreams and missing a friendly knock-up game of baseball on a Midwestern summer night and the wonderful hum of crickets and bugs.) Also taking a big chunk of brain space is how my brother needs help, so much so he has caused my parents to worry so much they are actually talking regularly to one another – something I had one friend explain as an occurrence so rare that surely it must be a doomsday sign. So my mind hasn’t been on litter so much as A. the students haven’t been back till recently. And B. I do actually have a life. So the bin… here’s the latest from Janet Bearman Green Party City Councillor for Town Close Ward:

Further to my previous e-mail I've finally had a response about the litter bin. It seems that the pathway is still not wide enough to accommodate one of the free standing litter bins as if one were installed, there would not be enough room for buggies/wheelchairs etc to pass it. However the Waste Officer I spoke to about it said that in view of the particular problems in that area, they are hoping to be able to install one on the bus stop post; but as the bus stops are the responsibility of the County Council (another of the reasons the Green Party are supporting Unitary Status for Norwich which would mean we could control our own transport needs and infrastructure) permission must be sought from them first. The officer appreciates the urgent need for a litter bin there, is doing her best and will let me know as soon as she has further information. I'm only sorry this is taking so long, I think I'm probably getting as frustrated about it as you are.

Best wishes.

Janet

So that’s where the bin stands (or doesn’t stand). Still even if I had a bin I don’t think it would stop the vomit. And as good as I am at writing moderately subversive letters of complaint I don’t think I (even with my un-holy love of root beer) could start a one girl temperance movement. And let’s face it I know personally probation didn’t work very well, I’m from Chicago where even my sweet Grandmother knew how to make bathtub gin. Uh, well, one community woe at a time.

Lastly a side note of what are the seven doomsday signs of the coming apocalypse:

1. My parents talking regularly in a friendly way.

2. The Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.

3. The World Series consisting of teams further a field then North America.

4. First Bus and/or One Railway running an efficient, friendly, and reasonably priced service.

5. Those few people you only find on Norfolk buses that insist on standing and blocking the bus door actually sitting down and taking one of the seats available.

6. The Queen deciding corgis are not giving her the street cred she desires and insists on having only rottweilers with studded collars.

7. Apparently a rubbish bin by the 25 bus stop on Unthank road.

        Feel free to comment on what you think the encroaching signs of Armageddon are.