The Unthinkable Unthank

The Evening News asked only today, “What do you think of the changes to Unthank Road?” Well if you’re a normal reader you would know I think it could have used a rubbish bin, but other then that I would stick my neck out and say a controversial “Yeah it’s alright.”

Now I’m not a car owner so the driving conditions rarely affect me. I do like the larger almost luxuriantly big sidewalks, I feel I can properly strut or stroll with such widths. My dog loves it because it gives him even more opportunity to try and trip people up with his lead. The thing I really love is the puddle. How great are road improvements when they create a massive puddle that was never there before? It is the sort of puddle that soaks unaware people when a car goes by and its right by the bus stop! Now don’t think I’m the heartless fool that laughs at other people’s misery – I live right by the puddle and am at risk daily. Though there is something evolutionarily funny about a person – especially if they are really dressed up or look grumpy – being splashed by water. I love the puddle as we think it would be a great way for our girl-friendless friend to meet girls. Just have him wait by the bus stop on a rainy day with a large umbrella, a lovely girl in danger of splash, he jumps in saves her from certain drenching, they strike up conversation and it would be just like that Hollies song “Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows under my umbrella”. I mean come on who doesn’t love a good puddle?

As for the rest of the road ‘improvements’ I like the 20 mph speed limit – it’s just a shame people don’t actually adhere to it. Only yesterday, I was walking the dog, crossed the street at the pelican crossing, saw a car coming down the road, thought ‘Now they’re not doing 20. It’s going to be hard to brake at this here red light. She’s still going a bit fast. Um she’s not stopping. Right she just went through the red light doing at least 50mph. Don’t think she even saw the light. Yeah that’s not good. ’

The one thing I don’t get is they widened all the pavements except where the pavement is at it’s slightest by Trinity Street, where if two people meet walking someone almost always nearly has to step into the street. I’m not a city planner* so I couldn’t give you a comprehensive plan on how to fix it or make it worse which seems to be the 50/50 chance you get with city planners. (* If there are any city planners out there please do not take offence to my sad attempt at humour and assume that you are doing a wonderful job, and that people like puddles and sixties architecture. After all I’ve learned thanks to some of my comments on earlier blogs that apparently “a public internet forum” like my own blog is not the right place to express my views or even tell factual accounts of things that have happened to me. – who knew?)

So over all – yeah it’s alright. My ideal Unthank road would involve wider pavements the whole way through with large palatial trees, trucks having a special underground road for loading and unloading (like Lower Wacker Drive in Chicago) and if anyone is speeding or tries to go through the crossing light when it’s red they are hit by a harmless and ultimately funny giant wall of water that stops them dead and all the pedestrians have a good chuckle. Oh yeah, and a rubbish bin.