The Tenth Lesson and Carol
Do you, gentle reader, include yourself in that seventy-seven per cent of the population who expose themselves as once-a-year churchgoers by not being able to remember an entire Christmas carol? Fear not, Cinders, said she, you shall go to the Watchnight Service, for I bring you tidings of great joy - Invisible Woman's Universal Carol, which fools ninety-nine per cent of all known vicars.
It came about in this wise: some years ago, a Norwich chippie advertised "Deep Fried Battered Christmas Pudding (with Custard)" and it was revealed unto me, possibly by an angel, who can say, that these words can be adapted to fit almost any known carol tune (the custard, being in brackets, is optional).
'Deep fried battered Christmas pudding with custard' - repeat until all lines of Away In a Manger have been worked through, then try The First Noel.
'Deep fried battered Christmas pudding, deep fried battered Christmas pud' - Once in Royal David's City.
And my favourite:
'Deep fried battered Christmas pudding,
Deep fried battered Christmas,
Deep fried battered Christmas pudding,
Deep fried battered Christmas --
DEEP fried battered Christmas PUDding deep fried battered CHRISTmas pudding deep fried BATTered Christmas pudding DEEP fried battered Christmas PUDding deep,
Fried battered Christmas pudding (x 2)'
Merry dingdongs, one and all. Three o'clock on Christmas Eve will never be the same again!