How to get your baby to sleep

Jo Wiltshire who has written a new book packed full of tips about how to get your baby off to sleep.

From controlled crying to uncontrolled tantrums (and that's just the parents) baby bedtime is not always an idyll of lullabies, soft lighting and drifting off to dreamland. ROWAN MANTELL finds out how to get a baby to sleep like, well, a baby.

Facing a white wall, fairy lights and an unwashed tee-shirt are just some of the cures suggested in a new book for sleep-deprived parents.

Unusually, for an author, Jo Wiltshire is keen to send her readers to sleep - or at least help them get their babies sleeping soundly so that they can enjoy some rest themselves.

And her new book is packed with tried and tested tips which have worked for friends, family, colleagues and other contributors.

Jo, a writer and mother-of-two who grew up in Norfolk, said: “So many parenting books these days seem to preach or shout at parents. Do this! Don't do that! When I wrote my first book Sneaky Parenting, I wanted to write a book which was more like a good chat over a cup of coffee with other mums and dads.

“This is how real parents get their advice - they swap tips, exchange experiences, relate horror stories of bad days, cry on each others' shoulders and make each other laugh.”

That first book was so successful that Jo has now written The Baby Sleep Bible. A similar book on potty training is due out in the spring.

The Baby Sleep Bible - the new book by Jo Wiltshire

It seems a far cry from her previous life as a Daily Mail star interviewer, flying the world to talk to some of the richest, weirdest, rudest and most famous people on the planet.

However, talking about the toilet habits of toddlers is not as far from celebrity interviewing as you might imagine.

“Once I had to fly out to Monaco to see Ivana Trump on board her yacht. It had cream carpets and a maid hoovered behind us as we walked across it. She wouldn't even let use the toilet - I was sent back out to a café across the road. She said she never allowed journalists to use hers'!” said Jo.

Jo grew up in Hunstanton and went to Springwood High School in King's Lynn and on to the University of East Anglia where she studied French, German and linguistics.

“I really miss Norwich,” said Jo. “I think Norwich does that to people. I think it's the best city ever. I have not found anywhere like it. I love the fact that it's got so much going on but it is still small enough to feel friendly. I think the fact that it is slightly cut off from everywhere means it's retained its charm.”

She and her husband Lewis, a former EDP sports reporter who now runs the BBC's sport website, live in Hertfordshire.

Her first job was with the EDP and she worked in its offices in Lowestoft, Cromer and Norwich before moving to the Mail on Sunday. Here she spent four years interviewing film stars and other celebs.

Then, six years ago, her daughter Evie was born. “I wanted to bring her up myself,” said Jo. “For work I had to fly off at a moment's notice.”

So she became a freelance writer and now combines some journalism teaching with writing parenting books.

“The idea for the first book came when I was pregnant. I was on maternity leave so I was reading all the books but the advice was so conflicting, confusing and overwhelming.

“It's a kind of information overload and I think it's taken away the trust parents have in their own instincts.

“I found I was getting my best advice through meeting up with other mums. That was the kind of advice that worked for me - people telling you their tips and disasters. It was so much more useful and reassuring.”

So she decided to replicate the coffee-morning format between the covers of a book.

“I'm writing, not as an expert but as a mum. I'm a mum who happens to collect useful information and put it in a book.

“I want it to read like we are having a chat. With the sleep book, instead of preaching one way of doing things, I look at the main roads you can go down and you can choose the methods that best suit your baby and circumstances and personality,” said Jo.

With Evie she said she followed a fairly structured bedtime routine, but admitted: “We have been incredibly lucky with both children because they seem to need a lot of sleep … which makes other parents spit!

“But I do think sleep is the parenting biggie. If you have a child who is a bad sleeper it affects the whole family. If no-one is getting any sleep it can feel quite staggeringly catastrophic.”

Her own family bedtime routine includes a bath for both children, a milky drink (pink milk for Evie inspired by the Charlie and Lola books), a story and cuddle for two-year-old Charlie, before he goes to bed at 6.30pm and then a story and chat with six-year-old Evie, with lights off between 7 and 7.30pm. “It gives me a bit of time with each of them on their own,” said Jo.

However, she knows her bedtime routine won't work for everyone and is keen to point out that she is very far from being a baby-care guru.

Jo's previous book was all about doing as good a job as possible. If you've no pureed fresh organic veg ready to serve for tea - then which freezer staples make the most nutritious meal? If you've not hand-sewn a costume for tomorrow's toddler party - then what can be grabbed from around the house to make a prize winning fancy dress debut?

This time she hopes she has set out the facts about various approaches to sleep children - and then families can choose what works for them. The book is also packed with quotes from parents at the front-line of baby bedtimes, plus expert input from a midwife and health visitor.



The Baby Sleep Bible is published by White Ladder priced £9.99 and is available from bookshops and www.crimsonpublishing.co.uk

For more on Jo's parenting books see www.jowiltshire.com

For more advice on babies and sleep try

Jo's top ten tips for a blissful bedtime:

1 Create your own special little song or phrase that you use every night - and make sure Granny or the childminder or nursery knows it so your baby feels safe when sleeping away from home.

2 If your baby is overtired and can't "let go" create a "white-out." Hold them so they face a blank wall, or drape a white muslin over their buggy or car seat. It will block out stimulation and help them relax.

3 If twins have been sharing a cot and need to move into separate ones, push them together at first so they can hear each other's reassuring snuffles and noises.

4 For children moving into their own rooms, let them decorate with light-giving accessories such as luminous stars, child-proof fairy lights or even a back-lit fish tank.

5 For an anxious child, use your baby monitor back-to-front, with the baby end downstairs and the parent's end in their room, so they can hear you moving about and chatting.

6 To reassure a child, record yourself reading stories or singing lullabies, and play it softly in their room.

7 "White noise" such as a vacuum cleaner or radio static can calm a fractious baby and send them to sleep.

8 If you want to set up a routine, create a "picture storyboard" to help your child understand. Take pictures of them brushing their teeth, reading a story, drinking milk, sleeping etc and paste onto a board.

9 If your baby is moving from your bed to a cot, put in a piece of clothing such as a t-shirt that smells of you to reassure them.

10 If you are co-sleeping, try breathing in unison with your baby - if you breathe slowly and audibly, your baby will mimic you and relax into sleep.

Jo on the celebs she met in her previous life:

Heath Ledger - “He was just becoming really famous and was like a little boy, all awkward and young.”

Ivana Trump - “That was crazy. She was just such a character.”

Anne Widdecombe - “It was just after she had that makeover and she was having to talk about nail polish and hair styles rather than politics.”